march--march was a bit of a heavy month for us. unfortunately, it all seemed to revolve around one word...cancer. i hate cancer. if I could punch cancer in it's junk I would. on the 23rd, my uncle david passed away from melanoma that had metastasized in his brain and other areas of his body. exactly one month from the day he was diagnosed. that pretty much rocked our world. although i have experienced loss many times on many levels, experiencing it once you become a mother is a whole different thing. the thought that each day that we are given is a gift and should be treated as just that becomes very present in your thinking. we are never and will never be promised tomorrow. i don't want to look back on my life at the end of it and wish that i had made different choices along the way. when people are faced with the reality of death, they never wish that they would have made more money or had achieved more success among their peers. almost always, they're either thankful for the relationships they had along the way or are sad that they didn't place a bigger priority on relationships. that is very real to me now. we had two other cancer scares in our immediate family in march. one scare turned out to be just that, a scare. the other was a situation that involved surgery. thankfully the surgery went great and we continue to pray for the recovery process. cancer can suck it.
april--vegas! i had the opportunity to go to las vegas for the first time in april. my boss and i went for work and decided to take an extra day to have some fun. las vegas is an interesting city. we had a good time while we were there, but i can say with a bucket full of confidence that i don't need or want to go back to las vegas anytime soon.
more importantly, we decided in april, after serious contemplation, that i would cut back to part time beginning some time in july. we had been talking about it for quite awhile, but our month of may pretty much cemented the decision. i have wanted to be a hands-on, stay-at-home mom my whole life and it has been very hard for me to balance the emotional side of working full-time. we are very blessed in multiples of ways when it comes to my work and our child care situations. my bosses have been uber-flexible and have allowed me to work from home 7-10 hours of my 40 hour week and harper has had her grammie, mimi, aunt susu and her cousins whenever she isn't with myself or derek. for those two things, i am so so so grateful. but we decided that what is best for us for now is for me to work out of the home 20-25 hours a week and be a stay-at-home mom the rest of the time. i can't wait for july. it will be so nice to be able to spend more time with my sister and niece and nephew and not have to rush home to put harper down for a nap so that i can work. i can't wait to actually be able to have play dates with friends that i never get to see. i will be more excited about preparing healthy meals for our family. mostly, i look forward to the time that i will get to have, just me and my girl. there are definitely going to be some challenges with this decision. derek will feel more pressure on his end to be the provider for our family. i will have to get back to our days of strict budgeting. there will be :a lot: less extras in our lives. with all of those challenges, i still can't help but feel confident in our decision.
may--well, harper turned one. MY BABY IS ONE YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear i only turned around for a second and then she was a year old. holy hell. how did that happen? it was like two minutes ago that i was pushing her out of my nether regions and now she's flipping a year old?!?! i'm not sure i like that. the next thing you know she's going to be 13 and rolling her eyes at me and telling me i know absolutely nothing about absolutely everything. :ugh: derek and i decided that since she was turning a year older, we should probably do the same. i rang in the big 35 and derek (my child groom) turned 33. for our birthdays, we were given an incredible gift by my mom and susan and tim. we got to spend 24 hours away from home and our child. they gave us a night at the the postcard inn on st. pete beach. it was perfect. we spent the whole day on the beach....drinking, napping, drinking, swimming, magazine reading, drinking. did i mention that it was perfect? harper had a sleepover with her cousins ethan and nia. i told her before we left that she needed to be extra-good while we were gone so that susan and tim would be willing to keep her again some time in the future. she obliged by sleeping in until 9:00. what a good girl. now if we can just get her to start walking.
june--harper decided that now that's she grown and all that she should start asserting herself. when she has something taken away from her she used to just move on to something else. the grown-up harper now balls her hands in fists and, on occasion, throws herself onto the floor. i'm not sure where this little girl came from, but i'm sure that some time in the near future the two of us will have to go a few rounds. thank goodness she is sweet, happy, loving and easy going the majority of the time.
if you've made it this far and haven't died in a pile because of all my rambling, here is some photographic goodies for you to enjoy.
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| the beach in january. the perks of living in florida. |
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| derek did a tattoo convention in bradenton in april. the guy in the white coat is Philadelphia Eddie. the guy has seen and done more than i would ever want to know. you can tell harper wasn't too sure about the whole situation. the guy on the far left is derek's dad. |
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| it's the old put a bowl on your face game. if you haven't played it, you're really missing out on some serious fun. |
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| helping put away the groceries. |
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| another fun game...climb behind the blinds. |
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| i mean...seriously? look at her. |
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| harper's birthday was flamingo themed. i bought the flamingo cupcake toppers from etsy. |
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| for derek's first birthday his mom made him a panda bear cake. for harper's first birthday, she made her a panda bear cake holding a flamingo. i cried when i saw it. that is his mom, donna, in the background. |
in case you're wondering where the picture is of her diving into her cake or with cake all over her face...well, there isn't one. she had absolutely no interest in her cake or cupcakes, so we didn't get a good picture. oh well. there's always the next child.
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| family portrait on harper's birthday. |
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| my groom on our birthday getaway. |
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| harper, nia and ethan hanging out in the crib. |
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| i love this little girl. |
